Lame Old Times (All 3 Variations)

Image licensed under Creative Commons by origamidon

Lame Old Times http://bit.ly/4Z0hW3 Variation 3

(Sung to the tune of Auld Lang Syne).

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/8CwsT4 (This Page)

Chorus.

And to Lame Old Times, my cuppa forgetfulness,
To Lame Old Times,
We’ll take amnesia and a cuppa forget-all-this,
To Lame Old Times.

1.
Should Lame Old Times be forgot,
Whatever! Don’t Remind!
Should John, John, Michael, Mark and Tiger be forgot,
And dalliances & scandals of Lame Old Times.

2.
Should we the cheating and pandering stop,
And never be adulterously employed.
Should cheating mistresses be forgot,
And wedding vows & rear windows destroyed,

3.
We have had poking fun about
To give us laughing fits all the year;
With all the hush money paid out
When the going gave some a little fear.

4.
We’ve tivoed ev’ry skewering on The Soup
And chuckled and roared at jesters fine;
Keith and the great Jon Stewart intrigue in public view
Then with Stephen and Dave we would unwind.

5.
Now we know why he’s called Tiger,
Its for that feline in his pants.
And that cuckqueaned Mrs. Tiger,
Might put in some honey and fire ants.

6.
And there’s the rub good friend mine,
They’ve given and received grief all the time;
Thinking that’s the end of a troubling time
And jesting and jeering about Lame Old Times.


http://americanpoliticalhandbook.blogspot.com/2009/12/lame-old-times-variation-3.html

Lame Old Times http://bit.ly/5ebfmu Variation 2

Chorus.

And to Lame Old Times, my cuppa forgetfulness,
To Lame Old Times,
We’ll take a cuppa forget-all-this,
To Lame Old Times.

1.
Should Lame Old Times be forgot,
Whatever! Don’t Remind!
Should John, Michael, Mark and Tiger be forgot,
And dalliances of Lame Old Times.

2.
Should we the cheating stop,
And never be adulterously employed.
Should cheating mistresses be forgot,
And wedding vows & rear windows destroyed,

3.
We have had poking fun enough
To give us laughing fits all the year;
With all the hush money spent
When the going gave some a little fear.

4.
We’ve tivoed ev’ry minute on The Soup
And chuckled at jesters fine;
Stephen, Keith and the great Jon Stewart
Then with Dave we would unwind.

5.
And there’s the rub good friend mine,
They’ve given and received grief;
Thinking that’s the end of troubling time
And jesting and jeering about Lame Old Times.


http://americanpoliticalhandbook.blogspot.com/2009/12/lame-old-times-variation-2.html

Lame Old Times http://bit.ly/6GQ4uu Variation 1

Chorus.

And to Lame Old Times, my cuppa forgetfulness,
To Lame Old Times,
We’ll take a cuppa forget-all-this,
To Lame Old Times.

1.
Should Lame Old Times be forgot,
Whatever! Don’t Remind!
Should John, Michael, Mark and Tiger be forgot,
And dalliances of Lame Old Times.

2.
Should we the cheating stop,
And never be adulterously employed.
Should cheating mistresses be forgot,
And wedding vows & rear windows destroyed,

3.
We have had fun enough
To give us laughing fits all the year;
With all the hush money spent
When the going gave some a little fear.

4.
We’ve tivoed ev’ry minute on The Soup
And chuckled at jesters fine;
Stephen, Keith and the great Jon Stewart
Then with Dave we would unwind.

5.
And there’s the rub good friend mine,
They’ve given and received grief;
Thinking that’s the end of troubling time
And jesting and jeering about Lame Old Times.


http://americanpoliticalhandbook.blogspot.com/2009/12/lame-old-times-variation-one.html

Lame Old Times (Variation 3)

Image licensed under Creative Commons by AudreyH

Lame Old Times (To be sung to the tune of Auld Lang Syne)

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/4Z0hW3

Chorus.

And to Lame Old Times, my cuppa forgetfulness,
To Lame Old Times,
We’ll take amnesia and a cuppa forget-all-this,
To Lame Old Times.

1.
Should Lame Old Times be forgot,
Whatever! Don’t Remind!
Should John, John, Michael, Mark and Tiger be forgot,
And dalliances & scandals of Lame Old Times.

2.
Should we the cheating and pandering stop,
And never be adulterously employed.
Should cheating mistresses be forgot,
And wedding vows & rear windows destroyed,

3.
We have had poking fun about
To give us laughing fits all the year;
With all the hush money paid out
When the going gave some a little fear.

4.
We’ve tivoed ev’ry skewering on The Soup
And chuckled and roared at jesters fine;
Keith and the great Jon Stewart intrigue in public view
Then with Stephen and Dave we would unwind.

5.
Now we know why he’s called Tiger,
Its for that feline in his pants.
And that cuckqueaned Mrs. Tiger,
Might put in some honey and fire ants.

6.
And there’s the rub good friend mine,
They’ve given and received grief all the time;
Thinking that’s the end of a troubling time
And jesting and jeering about Lame Old Times.

Lame Old Times - Variation 2

Image licensed under Creative Commons by wallyg

Lame Old Times (to be sung to the tune of Auld Lang Syne)

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/5ebfmu
Chorus.

And to Lame Old Times, my cuppa forgetfulness,
To Lame Old Times,
We’ll take a cuppa forget-all-this,
To Lame Old Times.

1.
Should Lame Old Times be forgot,
Whatever! Don’t Remind!
Should John, Michael, Mark and Tiger be forgot,
And dalliances of Lame Old Times.

2.
Should we the cheating stop,
And never be adulterously employed.
Should cheating mistresses be forgot,
And wedding vows & rear windows destroyed,

3.
We have had poking fun enough
To give us laughing fits all the year;
With all the hush money spent
When the going gave some a little fear.

4.
We’ve tivoed ev’ry minute on The Soup
And chuckled at jesters fine;
Stephen, Keith and the great Jon Stewart
Then with Dave we would unwind.

5.
And there’s the rub good friend mine,
They’ve given and received grief;
Thinking that’s the end of troubling time
And jesting and jeering about Lame Old Times.

Lame Old Times (Variation One)

Image licensed under Creative Commons by wallyg

Lame Old Times (to be sung to the tune of Auld Lang Syne)

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/6GQ4uu

Chorus.

And to Lame Old Times, my cuppa forgetfulness,
To Lame Old Times,
We’ll take a cuppa forget-all-this,
To Lame Old Times.

1.
Should Lame Old Times be forgot,
Whatever! Don’t Remind!
Should John, Michael, Mark and Tiger be forgot,
And dalliances of Lame Old Times.

2.
Should we the cheating stop,
And never be adulterously employed.
Should cheating mistresses be forgot,
And wedding vows & rear windows destroyed,

3.
We have had fun enough
To give us laughing fits all the year;
With all the hush money spent
When the going gave some a little fear.

4.
We’ve tivoed ev’ry minute on The Soup
And chuckled at jesters fine;
Stephen, Keith and the great Jon Stewart
Then with Dave we would unwind.

5.
And there’s the rub good friend mine,
They’ve given and received grief;
Thinking that’s the end of troubling time
And jesting and jeering about Lame Old Times.

The Night Before Healthcare - A Vision - A Retelling of the Tale

Image licensed under Creative Commons by SanFranAnnie


Twas the night before HCR, and all in the language,
Every dealmaker was dealing, even unto outrage,
Pork stockings were hung from the fasci with great care,
In hopes that OSanta would soon be there.

The pundits weren't all nestled in Snuggies nor in their beds,
With visions of plum projects in their heads,
With Obama on twitter and Blackberry and spending cap,
Had just raised the deficit for a long session nap.

When out in the media there arose a big wind,
I sprang from the mike to see what came in,
Away to the CPU I rebooted my HCR site,
Enabled the cookies and loaded a byte.

The moon shone on the piles of snow,
And gave the shine of HCR on Wolf’s show.
When before my web cam what appears,
To be a mini-limo and 8 tiny beltwayers.



With a hopeful driver, so lively and wary,
I knew in a flash it must be St. Barry.
Faster than 24/7, his voters then came,
And he texted and orated and called them by name.

On Biden, on Boxer, On Byrd, on Baucus
On Nancy, on Alan, On Reid, on DNC Caucus,
(And Dodd…),
To the top of the hill, the top of the hall,
Now speak away, speak away all!

As old bills that before the media flew,
When they meet GOPers, to the rotunda they hew.
To the top of the House (and Senate) they flew,
With a bill of Reform and OSanta, too.

Then in a soundbite, I heard on the tube,
Hemming and hawing, from each little rube.
As I drew back from my tube clicking seek,
On came OSanta, ready to speak.

He looked really tall, as he waved at them all,
And his jaw was aligned with lip and jowl,
A big bag of health care, he had flung to his back,
The GOPers all saw this and all went ack!



His eyes looked all twinkly and merry,
His face like a rosegarden and blooming in cherry,
His droll little chin tightened like doctrine,
And the gape of his mouth roared like a lion.

The tip of a Kool fell from his teeth,
As smoke irked the GOPers wreath.
He with broad face and a flat, healthy belly,
Ticked them off when he laughed at them like a face full of jelly.

He was skinny, and straight as a line,
Of rope when the GOP saw him this time.
One wink of his glad eye and turning his head,
We all knew of nothing to dread.

He spoke no words, applauding this grand work,
And filled all the homes and turned to a jerk,
And pointing his finger at the GOP's nose,
Said ‘Gotcha’ and up the House he rose!

He sprang to his limo, to his team with a wave,
In thanks for the work and bills that they gave.
We heard him call as they flew on the shockwave,
Merry healthcare to all, and to all good health!

(Please note: At this writing, the US Senate is scheduled to vote on Health Care Reform 2009 on Christmas Eve, December 24, 2009, being half the inspiration for this poem. The other half - of course - being 'Twas the Night Before Christmas' attributed mainly to Clement Clarke Moore, but also to Henry Livingston Jr.. No we don't work for Roland Burris...). Link to the 'original text'.


Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/5qPtZK


Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday to all!

P.S. Our editors believe that they have been offered a free ticket to Europe by one of our tweeters. Very generous. Gee...maybe we can meet them halfway there! #NoBribesPlease.

Gretchiate

This image has been released to the public domain by Wikipedia and Hello32020

Gretchiate: Regarding that great bit of 'gotcha' journalism from the great Jon Stewart and TDS last night, Tuesday, 12/8/09 on Gretchen Carlson of Fox News. To diminish oneself - intellectually, philosophically... - you get the idea - on a national 'news program' to appeal to one's journalistic overseers.

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/768CF7

FOM: Carlson Dumbs Down, Gretchen Carlson (Fox Bio) and Riddell's Law

Note: Please, if there is a God, Keith Olbermann and the Countdown Crew will pick up on this one...

Please note: This posting appears simultaneously on our sister publication, The Anti-Zen Dictionary.

Riddell's Law (with Apologies to the Sarah Palin Camp...)

Sarah Palin DIY mask image licensed under Creative Commons by billypalooza

Riddell's Law: Fascinating. We learned this one off of Twitter today. Thanks to @marcuschown, @cadigan and @txtriffidranch. Which is an axiom that states: "Any sufficiently developed incompetence is indistinguishable from conspiracy." Does this explain the Sarah Palin movement? Why yes, we think it does! Hmmm... How about the Teabaggers? The Bush Administration (W)? And Fox News? Yes. Oh, speaking of Fox News...

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/88HafS

FOM: Please, if there is a God, let Keith Olbermann and the Countdown Crew see this one... and Gretchiate

Please note: This posting appears simultaneously on our sister publication, The Anti-Zen Dictionary.

Revised/Updated: Thursday, December 10, 2009