Big Al's Sucker Coup & The Bush "King-Maker" Machine

Big Al's Sucker Coup & The Bush "King-Maker Machine"

Big Al's insiders say he's not running. Oh come on, Al - look at your chances compared to the rest of the field. Your would-be Democratic competitors look like the 11 dwarves compared to your newly acquired stature. Nobody else has the stature you have now. Your credibility is now at an incredible high, not to mention your popularity. (By the way, just what are your approval ratings right now, Al?) If you do run against your Democratic Brethren (and sister), you should be able to pull the rug right out from under them and make them all look like a bunch of saps.

Is that the problem? You think you may sacrifice prestige if you pull that off? You're now the apparent front-runner - you can mash a pie in Hilary's face and crap in her cornflakes, if you felt like it. It would be pretty funny, you know. Oh, that's it...you just don't want to embarrass Big Bill. Don't worry about that, he's already embarrassed himself plenty of times. And, when you are the new prez, he'll be polishing your shoes.

No need to fear the Republican front. Right now they are all looking like a bunch of giant-sized losers compared to your facade. They would literally wilt if facing you in debate or an election... And what about the anointed heir-apparent to George Bush. Who's that you say? Well, heck we're not sure either. Normally it would be the Veep, but his popularity is lower than Bush's. What about Jeb? You owe him a big one for that debacle in Florida. It would be kind of funny to seem him slip on your Nobel Prize like a political banana peel. Unseemly, but funny. You just make a mental picture of that.

Oh, and the Bush "King-Making Machine"? Who's he picked so far? Two failed Attorneys General, failed Defense Secretaries, a miserable, custodian of a White House Counsel...we don't want to speak ill of these folks...that's why we're not naming names. And the Republican nominee, who's that going to be? You can make any one of them look like a cracker-jack sucker chump in line at the three pitches for $ 1 game at the local fall carnival.

It's a win-lose situation for you, Mr. Gore. If you don't position yourself to win, we all lose. Res ipsa loquitor.