Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Lame Old Times (All 3 Variations)

Image licensed under Creative Commons by origamidon

Lame Old Times http://bit.ly/4Z0hW3 Variation 3
(Sung to the tune of Auld Lang Syne).
Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/8CwsT4 (This Page)

Chorus.

And to Lame Old Times, my cuppa forgetfulness,
To Lame Old Times,
We’ll take amnesia and a cuppa forget-all-this,
To Lame Old Times.

1.
Should Lame Old Times be forgot,
Whatever! Don’t Remind!
Should
John, John, Michael, Mark and Tiger be forgot,
And dalliances & scandals of Lame Old Times.

2.
Should we the cheating and pandering stop,
And never be adulterously employed.
Should cheating mistresses be forgot,
And wedding vows & rear windows destroyed,

3.
We have had poking fun about
To give us laughing fits all the year;
With all the hush money paid out
When the going gave some a little fear.

4.
We’ve tivoed ev’ry skewering on
The Soup
And chuckled and roared at jesters fine;
Keith and the great Jon Stewart intrigue in public view
Then with
Stephen and Dave we would unwind.

5.
Now we know why he’s called Tiger,
Its for that feline in his pants.
And that
cuckqueaned Mrs. Tiger,
Might put in some honey and
fire ants.

6.
And there’s the rub good friend mine,
They’ve given and received grief all the time;
Thinking that’s the end of a troubling time
And jesting and jeering about Lame Old Times.


http://americanpoliticalhandbook.blogspot.com/2009/12/lame-old-times-variation-3.html


Lame Old Times http://bit.ly/5ebfmu Variation 2

Chorus.

And to Lame Old Times, my cuppa forgetfulness,
To Lame Old Times,
We’ll take a cuppa forget-all-this,
To Lame Old Times.

1.
Should Lame Old Times be forgot,
Whatever! Don’t Remind!
Should
John, Michael, Mark and Tiger be forgot,
And dalliances of Lame Old Times.

2.
Should we the cheating stop,
And never be adulterously employed.
Should cheating mistresses be forgot,
And wedding vows & rear windows destroyed,

3.
We have had poking fun enough
To give us laughing fits all the year;
With all the hush money spent
When the going gave some a little fear.

4.
We’ve tivoed ev’ry minute on
The Soup
And chuckled at jesters fine;
Stephen, Keith and the great Jon Stewart
Then with Dave we would unwind.

5.
And there’s the rub good friend mine,
They’ve given and received grief;
Thinking that’s the end of troubling time
And jesting and jeering about Lame Old Times.


http://americanpoliticalhandbook.blogspot.com/2009/12/lame-old-times-variation-2.html




Lame Old Times http://bit.ly/6GQ4uu Variation 1

Chorus.

And to Lame Old Times, my cuppa forgetfulness,
To Lame Old Times,
We’ll take a cuppa forget-all-this,
To Lame Old Times.

1.
Should Lame Old Times be forgot,
Whatever! Don’t Remind!
Should
John, Michael, Mark and Tiger be forgot,
And dalliances of Lame Old Times.

2.
Should we the cheating stop,
And never be adulterously employed.
Should cheating mistresses be forgot,
And wedding vows & rear windows destroyed,

3.
We have had fun enough
To give us laughing fits all the year;
With all the hush money spent
When the going gave some a little fear.

4.
We’ve tivoed ev’ry minute on
The Soup
And chuckled at jesters fine;
Stephen, Keith and the great Jon Stewart
Then with Dave we would unwind.

5.
And there’s the rub good friend mine,
They’ve given and received grief;
Thinking that’s the end of troubling time
And jesting and jeering about Lame Old Times.


http://americanpoliticalhandbook.blogspot.com/2009/12/lame-old-times-variation-one.html

Lame Old Times (Variation 3)


Image licensed under Creative Commons by AudreyH

Lame Old Times (To be sung to the tune of Auld Lang Syne)

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/4Z0hW3

Chorus.

And to Lame Old Times, my cuppa forgetfulness,
To Lame Old Times,
We’ll take amnesia and a cuppa forget-all-this,
To Lame Old Times.

1.
Should Lame Old Times be forgot,
Whatever! Don’t Remind!
Should
John, John, Michael, Mark and Tiger be forgot,
And dalliances & scandals of Lame Old Times.

2.
Should we the cheating and pandering stop,
And never be adulterously employed.
Should cheating mistresses be forgot,
And wedding vows & rear windows destroyed,

3.
We have had poking fun about
To give us laughing fits all the year;
With all the hush money paid out
When the going gave some a little fear.

4.
We’ve tivoed ev’ry skewering on
The Soup
And chuckled and roared at jesters fine;
Keith and the great Jon Stewart intrigue in public view
Then with
Stephen and Dave we would unwind.

5.
Now we know why he’s called Tiger,
Its for that feline in his pants.
And that
cuckqueaned Mrs. Tiger,
Might put in some honey and
fire ants.

6.
And there’s the rub good friend mine,
They’ve given and received grief all the time;
Thinking that’s the end of a troubling time
And jesting and jeering about Lame Old Times.

Lame Old Times - Variation 2


Image licensed under Creative Commons by wallyg

Lame Old Times (to be sung to the tune of Auld Lang Syne)

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/5ebfmu
Chorus.

And to Lame Old Times, my cuppa forgetfulness,
To Lame Old Times,
We’ll take a cuppa forget-all-this,
To Lame Old Times.

1.
Should Lame Old Times be forgot,
Whatever! Don’t Remind!
Should
John, Michael, Mark and Tiger be forgot,
And dalliances of Lame Old Times.

2.
Should we the cheating stop,
And never be adulterously employed.
Should cheating mistresses be forgot,
And wedding vows & rear windows destroyed,

3.
We have had poking fun enough
To give us laughing fits all the year;
With all the hush money spent
When the going gave some a little fear.

4.
We’ve tivoed ev’ry minute on
The Soup
And chuckled at jesters fine;
Stephen, Keith and the great Jon Stewart
Then with Dave we would unwind.

5.
And there’s the rub good friend mine,
They’ve given and received grief;
Thinking that’s the end of troubling time
And jesting and jeering about Lame Old Times.

Lame Old Times (Variation One)


Image licensed under Creative Commons by wallyg

Lame Old Times (to be sung to the tune of Auld Lang Syne)

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/6GQ4uu

Chorus.

And to Lame Old Times, my cuppa forgetfulness,
To Lame Old Times,
We’ll take a cuppa forget-all-this,
To Lame Old Times.

1.
Should Lame Old Times be forgot,
Whatever! Don’t Remind!
Should
John, Michael, Mark and Tiger be forgot,
And dalliances of Lame Old Times.

2.
Should we the cheating stop,
And never be adulterously employed.
Should cheating mistresses be forgot,
And wedding vows & rear windows destroyed,

3.
We have had fun enough
To give us laughing fits all the year;
With all the hush money spent
When the going gave some a little fear.

4.
We’ve tivoed ev’ry minute on
The Soup
And chuckled at jesters fine;
Stephen, Keith and the great Jon Stewart
Then with Dave we would unwind.

5.
And there’s the rub good friend mine,
They’ve given and received grief;
Thinking that’s the end of troubling time
And jesting and jeering about Lame Old Times.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The Night Before Healthcare - A Vision - A Retelling of the Tale


Image licensed under Creative Commons by SanFranAnnie


Twas the night before HCR, and all in the language,
Every dealmaker was dealing, even unto outrage,
Pork stockings were hung from the
fasci with great care,
In hopes that OSanta would soon be there.

The pundits weren't all nestled in Snuggies nor in their beds,
With visions of plum projects in their heads,
With Obama on twitter and Blackberry and spending cap,
Had just raised the deficit for a long session nap.

When out in the media there arose a big wind,
I sprang from the mike to see what came in,
Away to the CPU I rebooted my HCR site,
Enabled the cookies and loaded a byte.

The moon shone on the piles of snow,
And gave the shine of HCR on Wolf’s show.
When before my web cam what appears,
To be a mini-limo and 8 tiny beltwayers.




With a hopeful driver, so lively and wary,
I knew in a flash it must be St. Barry.
Faster than 24/7, his voters then came,
And he texted and orated and called them by name.

On Biden, on Boxer, On Byrd, on Baucus
On Nancy, on Alan, On Reid, on DNC Caucus,
(And Dodd…),
To the top of the hill, the top of the hall,
Now speak away, speak away all!

As old bills that before the media flew,
When they meet GOPers, to the rotunda they hew.
To the top of the House (and Senate) they flew,
With a bill of Reform and OSanta, too.

Then in a soundbite, I heard on the tube,
Hemming and hawing, from each little rube.
As I drew back from my tube clicking seek,
On came OSanta, ready to speak.

He looked really tall, as he waved at them all,
And his jaw was aligned with lip and jowl,
A big bag of health care, he had flung to his back,
The GOPers all saw this and all went ack!



His eyes looked all twinkly and merry,
His face like a rosegarden and blooming in cherry,
His droll little chin tightened like doctrine,
And the gape of his mouth roared like a lion.

The tip of a Kool fell from his teeth,
As smoke irked the GOPers wreath.
He with broad face and a flat, healthy belly,
Ticked them off when he laughed at them like a face full of jelly.

He was skinny, and straight as a line,
Of rope when the GOP saw him this time.
One wink of his glad eye and turning his head,
We all knew of nothing to dread.

He spoke no words, applauding this grand work,
And filled all the homes and turned to a jerk,
And pointing his finger at the GOP's nose,
Said ‘Gotcha’ and up the House he rose!

He sprang to his limo, to his team with a wave,
In thanks for the work and bills that they gave.
We heard him call as they flew on the shockwave,
Merry healthcare to all, and to all good health!

(Please note: At this writing, the US Senate is scheduled to vote on Health Care Reform 2009 on Christmas Eve, December 24, 2009, being half the inspiration for this poem. The other half - of course - being 'Twas the Night Before Christmas' attributed mainly to Clement Clarke Moore, but also to Henry Livingston Jr.. No we don't work for Roland Burris...). Link to the 'original text'.


Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/5qPtZK


Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday to all!


P.S. Our editors believe that they have been offered a free ticket to Europe by one of our tweeters. Very generous. Gee...maybe we can meet them halfway there! #NoBribesPlease.


Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Gretchiate

This image has been released to the public domain by Wikipedia and Hello32020

Gretchiate: Regarding that great bit of 'gotcha' journalism from the great Jon Stewart and TDS last night, Tuesday, 12/8/09 on Gretchen Carlson of Fox News. To diminish oneself - intellectually, philosophically... - you get the idea - on a national 'news program' to appeal to one's journalistic overseers.









Note: Please, if there is a God, Keith Olbermann and the Countdown Crew will pick up on this one...
Please note: This posting appears simultaneously on our sister publication, The Anti-Zen Dictionary.

Riddell's Law (with Apologies to the Sarah Palin Camp...)




Riddell's Law: Fascinating. We learned this one off of Twitter today. Thanks to @marcuschown, @cadigan and @txtriffidranch. Which is an axiom that states: "Any sufficiently developed incompetence is indistinguishable from conspiracy." Does this explain the Sarah Palin movement? Why yes, we think it does! Hmmm... How about the Teabaggers? The Bush Administration (W)? And Fox News? Yes. Oh, speaking of Fox News...
Please note: This posting appears simultaneously on our sister publication, The Anti-Zen Dictionary.
Revised/Updated: Thursday, December 10, 2009

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Miniature RFID Tags (Link)

Miniature RFID tags for Anticounterfeiting

http://homelandcurrencysecurity.blogspot.com/2006/08/bar-codes-upcs-and-rfids-for-paper.html

Turdshiner-in-Chief

Coprolite image licensed under Creative Commons by AlishaV

Turdshiner-in-Chief: Not entirely our term, but building on the brilliant John Stewart's and TDS's presentation of 11/17/09, "Submission Accomplished". (1) Suggested nickname for any president that has to 'pick up and shine' the turds left behind by the previous administration for public or diplomatic review. (As always, Aasif Mandvi gives a hilarious, manic performance). (2) The real job of any next new presidential administration.


Please note: This posting appears simultaneously in our sister publication, The Anti-Zen Dictionary.

Gidget Goes Rogue


Image licensed under Creative Commons by surfcrs

Gidget Goes Rogue: (1) A suggested retitling of Ms. Palin's new book. Will the catchword 'b*tch*n' be replaced by "(You) Betcha'"? Or (2) That cheesey Newsweek magazine cover - is she going on a clambake or a Hobie-Cat? Are those deck shoes? Is that Andrew Zimmern in the background with a clam rake and tongs? In November?


Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/2ZyOQi


FOM: The Palin Cult, Palin book makes best seller list, McCain adviser: Palin book ‘based on fabrications' , Palin’s Big Comeback, Where coverage of 'Going Rogue' goes wrong , ‘Going Rogue’ Google Book Overview and Gidget.

Updated/Revised: Thursday, November 18, 2009

Palin Populism, Palin Popularity or The Palin Cult


Image licensed under Creative Commons by billypalooza

Palin Populism, Palin Popularity, The Palin Cult: We've been busy elsewhere and are briefly returning for this lady, sigh... Yes, we saw the video(s) of the lines forming this morning at the Grand Rapids bookstore where Ms. Palin will be signing books on her tour. For those who can't make it through the first wave, we heard those turned away will be given (?) bracelets for their return book signing. Is she a cult figure? Or should the book title be; 'Gidget Goes Rogue'? Will 'b*tch*n' be replaced by "(You) betcha'"?

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/1FHFyX


FOM: Palin book makes best seller list, McCain adviser: Palin book ‘based on fabrications' , Palin’s Big Comeback, Where coverage of 'Going Rogue' goes wrong , ‘Going Rogue’ Google Book Overview and Gidget.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Sacrificialism

Sacrificialism: The sad but important portmanteau of sacrifice and journalism. Apparently researched in depth and at great risk by the great expository journalist Terry Gould. Mr. Gould made a recent appearance on Book TV discussing his great work Marked for Death (American Title) before the CPJ. Mr. Gould discussed the international problem of local journalists facing death threats and dying for their reporting on corrupt regimes in such places as; the Phillipines, Colombia, Iraq, Russia... Mr. Gould's dialogue boiled down to the essential fact that local journalists were/are sacrificing their own lives in order to inspire others to pick up their fight against corruption through reporting.

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/3S33Oo

FOM: Marked for Death: Dying for the Story in the World's Most Dangerous Places , Markedfordeath.net, Marked for Death and Terry Gould.

Please note: This posting appears simultaneously on our sister publication, The Anti-Zen Dictionary.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Philosophical Crime

Philosophical Crime
Philosophical Crime: Not a true
crime, as in breaking rules/laws outlined and proscribed by a governing body, but a crime in a sense that it breaks with a philosophy, a belief, a viewpoint, creed, some practice, failure to assist or help (negligent or non-malicious depravity...) or other abstraction. Today (yesterday, in particular, Wednesday, October 28, 2009) we became aware of Andre Agassi's stunning and saddening admission of meth use - apparently in his new autobiography. (See our entry: Chemicallball [Era]). To us, the philosophical crime here was that the athlete was once portrayed as a rebel. We were once taught - instructed - that true rebels shun drugs and drug use. Thus, the basis of the charge of a philosophical crime in this instance - the failure of a rebel to shun drugs and their use.


The penalties for said crime or crimes? Disappointment, effects on reputation and conscience, history, the now dreaded asterisk...and possibly more. Don't get us wrong, we like Andre and wish him no harm.


Another Philosophical Crime might be the sin of omission or neglect. Where an individual, group, entity, population or other body fails to recognize or assist in urgent matters that demand attention. For example, we found it interesting to hear of the asteroid impact event in Sulawesi the other day...even though the event took place 3 weeks ago. Where are we - as a race, a people, a species - on this? How few of us recognize and treat an impact event with the deadly seriousness of this. Why are we asleep at the wheel? (Actually, we've written a position paper on asteroid tagging, see our Homeland Currency Security website. We also regularly post updated links to this danger).


World hunger - or hunger, famine, malnutrition in general - are also Philosophical Crimes in that they might be adequately addressed. Over a billion people go to bed hungry each night. Thousands starve to death everyday. Why aren't we doing more about this problem? (Actually, we've started a new concept, called The Food Corridors as a potential solution to this deadly problem. And World Focus and the CBC News does a pretty good job of covering this problem).



Suicide Bombing and Suicide Terrorism we also judge to be Philosophical Crimes. It is wrong (particularly in the name of a religion...) to kill others and oneself in acts of terrorism. It is particularly deplorable - and despicable - for any religious body or governing body to develop schemes of manned suicide attacks. For example, we recently did some historical research (of local interest to our senior editor) into the phenomena of the Japanese Kaiten and the destruction of the U.S.S. Mississinewa...


Sometimes suicide is wrong...particularly in the above cases. In some cases, where it is meant to save lives, it can however be the right option or action. We know this position to be provocative, but look at the case of Jesus Christ.


Warmongering is also a particularly deplorable - and despicable - Philosophical Crime. One or two famous examples are here. Think of the teacher in the scene (All Quiet on the Western Front) who encourages his students to join the war and give up their studies. Specifically, the educator convinces his students to give up education for war and death... We can also think of a recent more modern example given us by a recent US Administration...


Oh, and more on the failure to assist or help: The apparent footdragging see in the current debate on Health Care Reform in the US...such delay may be justifiable in order to write a good law, though.More on this topic later...

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/4zSvG8

Please note: This posting appears simultaneously on sister publication, The Anti-Zen Dictionary.

From the staff: We thought it odd that our senior editor would want to discuss this topic on today, his birthday, but we gave up the ghost.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Recovery Realism or Post-Crash Realism


Image licensed under Creative Commons by conorwithonen

Recovery Realism / Post-Crash Realism http://bit.ly/2XwdVo Recovery Realism / Post-Crash Realism: The portmanteau(s) of Recovery 2009-2010 / Post-Crash 2009 and Critical Realism. We just have to say that we feel vindicated. What we seek to promote here is a "new" version of critical realism. This branch of philosophy is largely based on the teachings (yes, teachings...) of the likes of: Larry Klayman, Joseph Grano, John Derbyshire , Larry McDonald and (most importantly...) Barbara Ehrenreich. These folks are teaching us (largely through their appearances promoting their books on Book TV).
Though Mr. Klayman comes across as a little cranky, we really appreciate his informative views and look forward to following him through various media outlets. Mr. Klayman is also the founder of Judicial Watch and Freedom Watch. We tend to agree with Mr. Klayman's observations that the American political, judicial and court systems are largely corrupt. We admit that we have experienced some of that corruption firsthand. We hope you pick up a copy of Mr. Klayman's book: Whores: Why and How I Came to Fight the Establishment‎.
Joseph Grano gave an excellent presentation on Book TV regarding his work; You Can’t Predict a Hero. Although it relates mainly to the 911 tragedy (we prefer the term atrocities...), Mr. Grano still makes very fine and high-minded points about the role of upper management in crisis. Mr. Grano is a decorated veteran.
Mr. Derbyshire appears to be a likeable, curmudgeonly, largely unapologetic, unabashed conservative thinker with background in the sciences and maths. Mr. Derbyshire largely uses scientific data and empiricism to convincingly make his conservative arguments. Mr. Derbyshire might be seen as abrasive and counter intuitive to some, but he does make some very intelligent points. A largely bemused, but still affable Alan Colmes delightfully appears with Mr. Derbyshire after presenting his book: We Are Doomed: Reclaiming Conservative Pessimism.
Their pithy arguments related more by realism than by context, Barbara Ehrenreich (on the negative aspects of positive thinking) and Lawrence McDonald (how positive thinking brought down Lehman Brothers, and possibly all of Wall Street...). Both persons' arguments are solidly related by their negative position on positive thinking and the negative effects of corporate positive thinking on us all. Positive thinking probably brought down Lehman Brothers, the financial and housing markets, your employer, your job, your career, your 401k, your stock portfolio, your pension, your home, your entire city (see: Urban Wasteland...) and state. And, this power of positive thinking's negative aspects is still at work. Time for a dose of reality. Read Ms. Ehrenreich (Bright-Sided) and Mr. McDonald (A Colossal Failure of Common Sense). Our editors, too, have lost jobs over this extremely pernicious presence of 'positive thinking'. Thanks to Book TV and these authors for bringing us a much needed dose of reality. We just hope that the people pick up on this trend and fight for it or against it.


Please note: The editors and authors have received no endorsements from these authors, their publishers, and so on...

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

A Eulogy for a Great One Passed


This morning awoke and felt a sense

Of loss unsure, though sensing Death.

Sheets of flame crossed my eye

It seemed the moon had fell from the sky.

Surely dead, so soon gone

I heard once the lion roar

And turned my head

And, too soon, he was dead.

This solar orbit once soared,

Once so long,

Once so large,

In Public Sight and tearing Eye,

Forever and for now,

Eclipsed from our sky.

Its as though the

Moon has fallen from the sky.

With this in similar dread

Losing from our smaller sky

One once called Ted.

Friday, August 14, 2009

'Electroshock' Weapons Controversy & More for Friday, August 14, 2009



http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2009/08/14/taser-challenge-inquiry014.html

Robert Dziekanski Taser Incident (Wikipedia Link)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Dziekanski

Braidwood Commission / Inquiry (Wikipedia Link)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braidwood_Inquiry

Taser safety issues (Wikipedia Link)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taser_safety_issues

Lynndie England DC lecture canceled after threats

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090814/ap_on_re_us/us_abu_ghraib_england;_ylt=AvDUdvyoV3KAO_.yf_8yZims0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTNscGhnM3ZtBGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMDkwODE0L3VzX2FidV9naHJhaWJfZW5nbGFuZARjY29kZQNyYW5kb20EY3BvcwMxMARwb3MDNwRwdANob21lX2Nva2UEc2VjA3luX2hlYWRsaW5lX2x

Applying For Your Own Job, Hoping You Get It

http://abcnews.go.com/Business/Economy/story?id=8318647&page=1

Sony to support open ebook format

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/8201093.stm

Appeal for anti-terrorist gadgets

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8201130.stm

Internet filtering software optional, China says

http://www.cbc.ca/technology/story/2009/08/14/china-green-dam-internet-software.html

Jet Blue's All-You-Can-Fly: Good Deal?

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/08/14/earlyshow/living/travel/main5241908.shtml

Believe It or Not, You're Rich



http://abcnews.go.com/Business/PersonalFinance/story?id=8314465&page=1

Global Rich List

http://www.globalrichlist.com/

The Perils of Short Links

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/08/13/tech/real_technology/main5241148.shtml

Study finds most Twitter posts 'Pointless Babble'

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32408652/ns/technology_and_science-tech_and_gadgets/

Tweeble or Twivel

http://antizendictionary.blogspot.com/2009/08/tweeble-or-twivel.html

Babble

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babble

Drivel

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/drivel

Twilter